Waiting for Angela: Our Journey of Love, Faith and Hope

My name is Sonia. I am happily married to the love of my life, Rony Morales. We have been married for 6 years.  He is kind, caring and hard working. He is the most wonderful husband, father, friend. I am so blessed to have him in my life.  He is my answered prayer! If you want to get a good husband make sure he is God fearing and son of GOD!   We   have one 5 years old daughter. Her name is Elizabeth. And this is the story of our sweet baby girl Angela Morales and our journey with anencephaly.

 

July 29, 2013 was the day we found out that I was expecting again. We were so happy to know that God was blessing us again with another baby.  The thought of having another baby was so exciting.  At that time my life was filled with happiness, because God was blessing us again. We were very happy. Since that day Rony, and big sister Elizabeth and I were very excited, singing, kissing and smiling, we were full of joy. God had put an angel in my belly. 

We were very happy until we got the "bad" news of the baby’s illness. However, the strange and wonderful of the bad news is that always brings something good. At my 16-week ultrasound I was told that something was wrong with my baby’s head. Dr. told me that I need to be strong. I was told my baby had no brain and the skull didn’t form correctly. "Your baby is open from the eyebrow to the back".

Our baby girl was diagnosed with ANENCEPHALY

There is no treatments or cures for babies diagnosed with this terrible birth defect. 

I was told that my baby was only alive because she was attached to me, but that she couldn't survive on her own. The doctor said that I could continue the pregnancy safely, but that my baby would die shortly after being born. Or I could choose to terminate the pregnancy, letting my baby die without ever seeing or holding her. 

This doctor suggested an amniocenthesis, which is a surgical procedure used to obtain amniotic fluir by inserting a needle through the abdominal wall. Despite the risk of miscarriage, the doctor told me that way they could tell me more about her condition and offer more "choices". Angela was not a choice. I impediately refused.  Abortion was never an option for us. We never once considered anything but life for our child.

I was  shocked that one of their options for helping our baby girl was termination, especially when all they knew about this malformation was from the textbook.

I left the clinic so emotionally drained, in shock from the whole ordeal, and mostly sad that our baby was just a number to those doctors and not a life worth keeping.  

 I came home (after the diagnosis) with a piece of paper with "anencephaly" written on it, we had wanted a boy after having a girl. We laughed when I told him we were having another girl. Then I told him about the diagnosis, and we started crying.

Well, to some people this would be a difficult decision, but it wasn’t for me. I knew there was nothing to gain by terminating the pregnancy, but a lot to loose, and I already loved my daughter more than anyone else in the world. Even if she was unconscious like the doctors said and lived for only a few seconds or minutes, it was worth it to me. We chose to carry our baby to term for one simple reason: pure, real and unconditional love.

 I remember that in those darkest days after we were given her condition and outlook all I needed was a little glimmer of hope.

 My husband and I felt very strongly about our decision. We felt that we had signed on to be parents to this baby rigth from the beginning, and if being her parents meant that our only job was to see her through her short life and make sure that she went with peace, dignity, respect and love, then we have done our job as parents. 

It was there in our pain when God comforts us and calls us to a beautiful mission. Be witness for the defense of life from conception  to natural death. And he taught us that the baby would live forever with Him in heaven. And I would only be the carrier and the protector of her life. We have to defend them from the moment of conception because they have a soul and that soul belongs to God, and He, is the only one who can decide on her life. 

We also began to feel that this was a very special child with a very special purpose for coming, although we did not know what the reason was.  We did, however, know that God had picked us from all the parents in the world to be her parents and for that we were honored. We knew that we had a very big job to do, and we were going to make sure we did it right.

We started by choosing a name for her. We picked  Angela.
She would be our angel, our Angela 
“Two weeks before delivery, I learned that Angela means ‘Messenger of God.

I was crying every day because I was feeling her moving inside me. She was alive — but they gave her a death sentence. My husband cried, too, but he told me that I shouldn’t cry all the time because she will feel our sadness. We felt that God had a mission for us to be [voices] for the life of our baby and all the others like her.

The news was devastating for us but we did our best to cling to our faith in God. We turned to prayer, concentrating on devotion to the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and praying for the special intercession of the Child Jesus and Virgin Mary.

We started to feel the overwhelming love, peace and joy despite the suffering and pain. 

We tried to make so many memories of her when she was inside, for us she was the perfect child. We knew we only have 5 more months to enjoy her and those would be her best days of her precious life. We took her everyday to our favorite places, Elizabeth was always singing, reading to her.  We took the girls for ice cream, Angela's favorite was chocolate!!! 

She was always moving , every time daddy talked to her she would move and give strong kicks.  When I started crying and talking to her, she moved. She responded to music and voices. I couldnt understand, I have a baby who is giving me strong kicks who has no chance of survival?  I asked my OB, she told me " She is only living because she is attached to you; it is only a reflex. God gave us the child that we wanted, and we were going to love her despite her condition. Love her and giving of our lives to protect and defend her life. 

We were at a restaurant. 

I loved to see her photos! this was the day before delivery. 

Christmas 2013

Psalm 139, 13-14 and Angela's Heartbeat Bear 

National Shrine of Our Lady of La Salette in Attleboro, Mass., to light a candle and pray for the delivery. 2014

Elizabeth was my comfort, she was the one who wiped my tears, and told me "When Angela goes to Heaven, she will be with God and we are going to be okay".

The Love of my Life!! 

Pro-Life Event and we met the Bishop Thomas Tobin and he gave us a blessing.  Jan 2014

The Eucharist is the best friend, the friend who never fails, the faithful friend, who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the one given us the strength to go on this journey with patience and love. 

Many have told us that they couldn't do what we choose to do. We are not saints and you don't know what you can do until you are faced with it. We would like them to understand that while I am carrying Angela, God is carrying my family and me. That is what made the difference. It is a hard journey but our babies are more than worth the effort. We don't look back in regret and continue to look up in faith. By sharing our story, God will be glorified for all He has done for us. Choose life, these babies has so much love to give you!!!  They are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139,14) 

https://www.facebook.com/ourbabyANGELA