‘Incompatible with Life Is NOT A Diagnosis, It’s A Death Sentence for the unborn disabled child.. When Angela was diagnosed with anencephaly at 16 weeks into my pregnancy, doctor told me “your baby is incompatible with life after delivery." I was in shock I couldn’t move, I had no words and with a lump in my throat I asked: "How long do you think?" They told me from minutes to hours after birth. Angela got her death sentence at that moment. I started grieving my baby; I couldn’t understand what “incompatible with life” means at that moment of her diagnosis. I was feeling her moving and kicking I knew she was alive to me. They said that those were only muscle reflex, and that she was only alive because she was attached to me but as soon as I delivered her, she would die. At that moment I knew that “incompatible with life” meant no hope, no baby, no interventions, no care or treatment. She got her death sentence.
Can you imagine what we parents have fell when the medical field say that our babies are not compatible with life? This is an excruciating pain that cannot be removed with any medicine, because this pain is within the depths of your heart and soul. Our precious baby that we prayed for now has a date, a date for its death.
Sometimes I am very disappointed with doctors because as soon as they know our babies have a life-limited condition they encouraged mothers to terminate. We parents look to healthcare professionals, as the people with all the information and knowledge, but with my experience with Angela ALL they know about anencephaly is what is in the books. My baby girl is labeled but the label is not who she is, she is my daughter, a friend, a sister, she is a human being. She is compatible with life and compatible with love. Abortion is incompatible with life. Our babies deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
Anencephaly, for example, is a condition in which the majority of a child’s brain is absent, and death usually occurs within hours of birth. However, there are case reports of anencephalic infants with a healthy brain stem surviving for much longer. There are many forms of anencephaly, some are more severe than others, and Angela proves it.
Everything I asked for her, they said she didn’t needed. Why? That is because they were expecting her to die any minute. “No sophisticated intervention is appropriate for anencephalic babies” one doctor said. They gave me my baby to snuggle and to make her comfortable to her death. They made me feel I was a bad mother, they saw me with pity, and some made me feel uncomfortable. All I wanted and did was to love my child, I didn’t see anencephaly I saw my beautiful daughter, so perfectly made by God.
They covered her head, she was kept skin to skin most of the time, I had many visitors in my room, she was and IS very loved by family, friends and strangers and even those who questioned us “why are you carrying a dying baby” and told us that it was “better to end her life early and try again” thank us now that we didn’t choose to end the life of our daughter. She was not a toy or garbage, her life was and is valuable.
Even before my baby was born, she received a diagnosis — one that deemed her “incompatible with life.” In the eyes of the medical world, Angela was “incompatible with life.” We didn’t care what the culture of death told us, we embraced life, she was very alive inside me and it was not up to us or doctors to end her precious life. It was in God's hands! We chose to make the most of our pregnancy, we knew we only had 5 more months to enjoy her, and as her parents we chose to live them to the fullest, because there was life, and if there was life there was also hope.
We did not know what would happen after she was born, but we knew she was more than the diagnosis; her diagnosis didn’t define her as human being. Her diagnosis is not her identity. She has proven she is compatible — compatible with learning, growing and developing in her own pace. She is capable to feel the love we give her, and that’s all she needs. She is compatible. Even when her diagnosis predicts that she will be incompatible, she has proven the definitions wrong.
It’s true that sometimes a condition is limiting, and a person’s life may not be the same as someone else’s life, but it doesn’t mean they are incompatible. Her life is not less worth because she is disabled or dependent to us?. She was indeed “incompatible with life” but yet she is not only living by thriving 17 MONTH after.
Angela is 17 MONTHS and TWO WEEKS OLD NOW!!!!!
We are very thankful to God for this precious gift, she is a gift not a burden, every child is a gift from the Lord and every gift from the Lord received with thankfulness does not come to hinder life but to enrich it. LIFE and LOVE are the most precious gift. Angela is teaching us to love unconditionally, our love for her has no limits, we love her so much, she is teaching us to sacrifice for love, to give yourself to take care of a loved one, loving them and taking care of them until their natural and dignified death. If the unborn child has a life-limiting condition what corresponds as a society is to support the parents and give the baby the same treatment we give to the elderly, the sick or anyone with a terminal illness.
Caring for a severely disabled member of the family is, living life on a different level. But it is a level that we as a society must be prepared to support and facilitate so that the people involved can achieve their full potential – regardless of how far that potential can reach. We all learn differently!
Or is better to let them live just even for a short time, and give them the loved, the cared, the dignity and respect they deserve as a human being. The sick, the defenceless, the voiceless, the unborn need our help, our voice, our protection. The unborn children are valuable, loved, we all have the right to LIFE and we should denied it to unborn disabled child.
Angela has lived longer than expected, we are very thankful for that, God is laughing in the face of medicine, Angela proves that these babies can live if they are given a chance of life. I encourage you all to defend life, life is hope, life is love. Miracles do happen everyday but remember that whatever happens God will give you the grace, the strength to face everything ahead.
Don't give up your baby, even if you get a minute, an hour, day, or you dont know how long, is worth living. Is worth to feel unconditional love. You won't regret giving a chance of life to your precious child, your child is not a choice, a diagnosis does not define who she/he is, it's your BABY.
No one knows how long Angela's life will last, but that time she will be immensely loved and happy. Is not that what we all seek?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS HEARTBREAKING JOURNEY!
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